Sustainable happiness

Happiness is often short lived. I watch my kids do their limited time on the Wii. They look happy, laughing, talking, moving, but when the game is finished, sometimes the happiness is too as they look for something else to do.

images

Photo Credit: Huffingtonpost.com

Research is now distinguishing between sustainable happiness and unsustainable happiness, which also be referred to as ‘eudaimonic’ well-being and ‘hedonic’ well-being.

Hedonic well-being is short term pleasure. It is being in the moment with highs of positive emotion and gratification. One problem is the brain gets used to the source of happiness and needs to up the dose or add variety to get a ‘hit’.
Examples of this unsustainable happiness and the results include:
drinking – hangover,
impulse buying – stress of debt,
binge eating – weight gain and guilt,
freedom of the road – climate change.

index

Photo credit: learnerbydesign.com

Eudaimonic well-being is deeper and lasts longer. It may seem harder work. The acronym PERMA is associated with this eudaimonic well being. (Positive emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Accomplishment.)
Examples of this sustainable happiness and the results include:
acts of kindness – deeper friendship,
effort in learning – satisfaction of achievement,
using strengths – realise potential,
meaningful work – sense of vocation,
appreciate beauty – care for the environment.

‘The challenge of positive psychology is to help people to not just feel better but to live better lives. Our world need to refocus from an individual well-being towards a societal well-being.’ (Positive Psychology Daily News)

index

On reflection of this information I came to see that yes it is a BIG challenge. Our society in general are so bent on hedonic – unsustainable happiness. As kids are growing up with so much of this, the emotional lows are hard to cope with and life can become a trail of moving from one pleasure to the next.
Whereas the sustainable, eudaimonic pursuits are longer lasting, deeper and sustainable. That way of living grows inside and looks to those around and effects those around.

index

Recently I suggested that my daughter thank some teachers who had gone out of their way to provide a fantastic learning opportunity. She was happy to do it and took a homemade card to school to get signed and some chocolates. When she got home I asked her how it went ( I realise now, I was thinking some eudaimonic happiness was involved). I was surprised when she reported just ok. It seems that one friend had called the card ‘cute’ and another friend had said that is was so ‘typical’ of her to do that and both of these my daughter interpreted as put-downs. It is interesting that in this pursuit of kindness there were ‘knockers’.

On reflection, the challenge is not just how to build sustainable happiness in ourselves and our kids, but also to help them stand in a world that can knock them for it. Kindness and sustainable happiness is not always encouraged and acceptable to those around us, yet it is such a great thing!

images

Photo credit: spreadkindess.org

 

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Sustainable happiness

  1. Well done to your gorgeous girl to show her appreciation. I do not think we can ever show appreciation too much. It is so sad when people do not realize they are valued by others because others don’t let them know, just assume. We are often quick to show our displeasure at something, & slow to show our pleasure. Keep up the good work, blessings

    Like

    • Thanks so much. It is so true, we are so quick to show our displeasure and it is an easy thing to do, yet to show our thanks can be harder and people around seem to find it hard. We do need to keep being thankful despite it!
      Love r

      Like

  2. You can get eudaimonic happiness from persecution because persecution = doing the right thing!! Good on you Grace – they were jealous they didn’t think of it!

    Like

  3. Pingback: Sometimes it’s just nice to watch! | a sunshiny day

Please Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s