My husband returned from one of my kids basketball games today, commenting on one of the parents who had sat near him in the stands. She would call out “ohh bad luck” when in reality they were playing badly and probably needed to do some more practice!
Sometimes I wonder why we are so scared to tell our kids that maybe they need to work harder? I understand that we do not want to discourage our kids and pull them down, but maybe we need to be encouraging them and telling them what things can be worked on to improve.
“….the coaches say that in the old days after a little league day or a kiddie soccer game, parents used to review and analyze the game on the way home and give helpful (process) tips. Now on the ride home they say, parents heap blame on the coaches and referees for the child’s poor performance or the team’s loss. They don’t want to harm the child’s confidence by putting the blame on the child……..but, children need honest and constructive feedback. If children are ‘protected’ from it, they won’t learn well. They will experience advice, coaching and feedback as negative and undermining. Withholding constructive criticism does not help children’s confidence: it harms their future.” (Page 182 Mindset by Dr Carol Dweck)
There’s a challenge for us!