Less hustle and bustle!

I was once asked if I practiced what I preach in regard to what I write on the blog. My answer was that yes I did, as much as possible.
But recently, I don’t think I have practiced what I preach as well as I might. Life has felt out of balance and my body has let me know via headaches and a ‘fuzzy’ head for want of another word!

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Weeks ago my Man informed me that I was using the word ‘should’ a lot. Sentences like:
“I should be going for a run.”
“I should be sorting out all the things in the shed.”
“I should catch up with this person.”
“I should not be feeling like this.”
It is such a harsh and unkind word that traps.

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Yesterday I took a long solitary walk along the beach. Spring has thought about appearing in my part of the world and it was beautiful. As I walked I started thinking, “What if I only did the things I needed to do and the things I wanted to do?”

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That whole idea has been incredibly freeing. As I am faced with situations the questions “Do I need to do this? Do I want to do this?” have helped my decision making and somehow given me more space in my mind.

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It seems like a graceful way to live. It has taken away some of the rules that I have harshly put on myself. I am hoping that it will enable me to have more time with less hustle and bustle. I am hoping that it will help me to be a better parent as I live more in the now with my family.
It may mean that there will be less blogging so that I can actually live out the things that I have been reading. Instead of the pressure of trying to put a blog up each Tuesday, it will be “Do I need to share this information? Do I want to share this information?” That will be the test.

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Thanks for your kind ongoing support. I just hope that some of the things I share are an encouragement to you.
Love R x

How is your balance?

Today we are off on a camping trip. I am looking forward to having time to ‘balance’ life again, for myself and my family.
It is so easy for us to get caught up in life and the many things that vie for our attention and time.  It is time for all of us to recalibrate and sometimes that happens best when we are out of our comfort zones.

Photo Credit: www.thoughtware.com

Photo Credit: thoughtware.com

Joshua Becker (The Minimalist) recently wrote in his Newsletter about the need to care for ourselves.

“We are not merely physical beings, spiritual beings, or emotional beings. We are human beings. And by this, I mean, all aspects of our being make up who we are and they can not be separated from one another.
Our physical being influences our spiritual being… our spiritual being influences our emotional being… our emotional being influences our physical bodies.
Have you ever tried to think straight when you have a terrible cold? It is very difficult. Why? Because all aspects of our being mingle together to form who we are on any given day……”

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Years ago when teaching I remember asking kids to set themselves goals each term for the different areas of life  – physical, learning, spiritual and family. I was reminded of this when Becker went on to list the specific things that connect us in life and the way they all need to be balanced. He is talking in terms of what ‘great influencers’ do …

“They care for themselves physically in both diet and exercise.

They care for themselves mentally with rest and personal development.

They care for themselves intellectually by reading and growing and seeking challenge.

They care for themselves emotionally with proper self-awareness and healthy relationships.

They care for themselves spiritually with solitude and meditation and counting the universe bigger than themselves.

In other words, influencers seek to implement wise and healthy habits in all aspects of their being.

Is there any area you have been neglecting recently? If so, what might be your first, small step in the right direction?”

 

I appreciated his challenge at the end. I think as a family our fist step is to be reminded of the balance we need in life and then to purposefully pursue. Getting away from routine and having time to reflect is a gift for which I am grateful. I understand the time to get away is not there for all, but in and about your daily life, may you find a moment to reflect on each of the different areas of life that balance us out.

Blessings R xx

photo credit: lifefitnessbydane.au

photo credit: lifefitnessbydane.au

 

Tough love!?

My youngest returned from his teacher/student/parent interview very solemn and upset. Yes, tears were shed. The teacher had been very frank and we had not defended our boy. The boy knew he had been working ok, but there was room for more. Yes, there had been big changes, but he was capable of more.

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I was torn. On the one hand I knew we needed to be tougher, but on the other, this is my gorgeous baby (at 8 years old, he keeps reminding me he is not a baby) and the world was being tough. I don’t want to scar him and push him too far. I need to be gentle and understanding and positive and kind and yes there are some great things he has been doing, like leading the SRC meeting ..the list goes on. But here we are lifting the bar, telling him it could be better, more focus, more responsibility, less whinging…the list goes on.

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Photo Credit: etsy.com

Oh, the pain and balance of parenting. I know that I should have been better at getting the reader read. I should have made more of an effort to hear the Chapel speech. But then, he should have asked for help, he is old enough to say “I need to do my reader”.

All this was buzzing around my head as I prepared tea and ate tea and put the kids to bed. I had a spare minute to sit at the kitchen table and read a section from the newspaper that my very dear neighbour faithfully passes on each week and “Bam” there it was:

“My kids are spoilt and need to realise it, their granny tells them”

“Mum is not one to beat about the bush and neither has she a mean bone, so it is impossible to react defensively to anything she says…But apart from the material stuff, what Mum was really getting at was that they probably get too much done for them….They are honest and kind kids, respectful of us and teachers, but the older ones are not exactly beating a path to the stove, or the washing machine, or the dishwasher…because I’ve always done the domestic load for all of us (until now)…..And as Mum’s now had the kindness to point out, maybe it’s time these well cared-for kids showed understanding of how lucky they are.  And the kids are not ungrateful; they know how hard we work to provide. But they are growing up in a parenting era dubbed by the experts as “child-centred”, one in which parents… spare no energetic or financial expense on giving children a stable, rounded experience-rich and happy life……..And despite our good reasons for putting the comfort of kids first, another side effect may be while we are aiming to send well-loved kids into the world, we may also risk delivering a generation of pampered mummy’s boys….Life skills are learned at home. I’m grateful to my no-fuss Mum for pointing out something so obvious but something I couldn’t quite see. I’ve succeeded in providing my babies with a stable, happy, consistently-routined, stimulating and experience and nurturing-rich start to life – and now possibly it’s time I toughened up.” (Wendy Tuohy Adelaide Advertiser March 24th page 29 My Week)

The next morning the boy got up and seemed quite happy. I was amazed. Also I was amazed to have a quiet opportunity with the boy. (This doesn’t happen very often in a household of 6 when everyone has to be out the door early!) He came and sat on my lap and I mentioned that last night had been tough. There was a nod in agreement. I followed on along the lines of sometimes we have to hear things we don’t like, but that they can actually turn into good things. He knew exactly what I meant. “It is not going to be easy, and I am going to be tougher but it is going to be good.” Another big nod and he is ready to move on. “Hang on, I need something, I need a kiss!”

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Photo Credit: inspirationaldaily.wordpress.com