Love you by your book

I have a child who is struggling at the moment. Today when I asked him ‘What makes you happy?’ his reply was ‘Not much.’
That just broke my heart. I knew he was tired and part of it was a cop out, but I knew it had an element of truth to it. I wanted to stop driving, give him a hug and tell him how much I loved him! (I wished I had……)

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Scrolling through some blogs I came across this one that I had read before and knew that I would go back to sometime and tonight was that time. I leave it with you as an encouragement. I leave it with you as a challenge.
I leave it with myself as something so important to follow through- in the words of my husband, ‘We need to nail it to our foreheads!’

Photo credit: stlaurence.org

Photo credit: stlaurence.org

 

To Love You by Your Book: A Daily Pledge (Hands Free Mama….Click on this for the whole great read!!)

I will study you. I will listen to you. I will watch your face when I use certain words or tones. What brings smiles? What brings pain? I will take note. I will use words that build you instead of break you. When I see that something I do makes you feel uncomfortable and rejected, I will remember and try not to do it anymore.

I want to love you by your book.

I will have one-on-one time with you even if this means having to disappoint people outside my family or make personal sacrifices. Making time to know you may mean declining extra commitments or reducing extracurricular activities. It may mean watching a television show I don’t care for or being willing to learn about your hobbies. It may mean sitting beside you in silence. I vow to be available to you. I vow to show you that you’re worth my time and attention.

I want to love you by your book.

I will tell you all the positive things I notice about you, instead of pointing out where you fall short. There’s enough people who will do that. I will be your encourager. I will be your #1 fan. I want to hear you laugh. I want to see you smile. I want to watch you shine.

I want to love you by your book and witness your amazing story unfold.

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A growth mindset

As I walked in the house this afternoon my daughter bounded up to me, excited because at Jazz Band rehearsal this afternoon she nailed her improvisation solo! “I got it today, I am so happy, I have been working really hard on it.”

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Photo Credit: wide-wallpapers.com

Once I would not have thought much of this, but seeing my brain has continued to think about the ‘mindsets – fixed and growth’ I have been taking a lot more notice of the comments around this house. It has been exciting to notice comments like the above that show the growth mindset. (If you can, I would encourage you to take some time to hear the talk around the house both from yourself and the whole family, you will get some surprises.)

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Photo Credit: nagisalloum.com

Also, I want to share a paragraph from the book “Mindset” (by Carol Dweck Page 176)

“Parents think they can hand children permanent confidence – like a gift – by praising their brains and talent. It doesn’t work, and in fact has the opposite effect.  It makes children doubt themselves as soon as anything is hard or anything goes wrong.  If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning. That way, their children don’t have to be slaves of praise. They will have a lifelong way to build and repair their own confidence.”

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Photo Credit: marathonation.us