My husband returned from one of my kids basketball games today, commenting on one of the parents who had sat near him in the stands. She would call out “ohh bad luck” when in reality they were playing badly and probably needed to do some more practice!
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Sometimes I wonder why we are so scared to tell our kids that maybe they need to work harder? I understand that we do not want to discourage our kids and pull them down, but maybe we need to be encouraging them and telling them what things can be worked on to improve.
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“….the coaches say that in the old days after a little league day or a kiddie soccer game, parents used to review and analyze the game on the way home and give helpful (process) tips. Now on the ride home they say, parents heap blame on the coaches and referees for the child’s poor performance or the team’s loss. They don’t want to harm the child’s confidence by putting the blame on the child……..but, children need honest and constructive feedback. If children are ‘protected’ from it, they won’t learn well. They will experience advice, coaching and feedback as negative and undermining. Withholding constructive criticism does not help children’s confidence: it harms their future.” (Page 182 Mindset by Dr Carol Dweck)
There’s a challenge for us!
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As a family we enjoy following the Tour de France cycling. When we first started watching a few years ago I had no understanding of the teamwork involved or the skill. Everyone can ride a bike can’t they? But like many things in life, the more you know the more you realise how much you do not know!
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Last week Michael Rogers, an Australian rider won a stage.
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For many riders it is a dream to win a stage at the tour. I later found out that this is the 12th year that Rogers has ridden the Tour and this is the first time he has won a stage. His post win interview I thought was amazing and for a couple of reasons I wanted to share it:
*He mentions no longer being afraid of failure. This is something I wonder about a lot. For some reason our kids of today seem very afraid and anxious about failing and yet we all know it is part of life and part of what needs to happen to succeed. 12 years Michael Rogers waited for a Stage win!
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*Rogers mentions the way he has changed ‘upstairs’ and points to his brain. He knew he was riding different because he was thinking different. I am sure that kind of change can be transferred to many parts of life.
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I think the interview could be a great introduction for interesting conversations with a class or your kids at home. Enjoy. To watch the 2 minute interview click on this link.